How Getting Rejected By The Lion King (Twice) Helped Me Discover My Real Lead Role
"You should move to New York. Here's my number. We'll be in touch." - Casting Director, Disney's The Lion King
Was this my chance to leave my island in the middle of the sea?
I had done precisely (1) community theater audition before going out for DTLK and let me tell you - Humbly... I mfkn smashed that shyt.
They put me on the news and everything!
But look…
I didn't get the role.
Though I didn’t get it the team saw I had "it" and encouraged me to audition again in a year or so. I rolled with it.
Less than a year later I was in California (bc I didn't think I could survive in weather under 60 degrees) and I started doing the damn thing. Then one day while doing background work in LA I got a call from... said Casting Director.
"Can you come to New York for another audition?"
This time I got so close.
So - friggin' - close.
There were 3 spots, 4 of us - I was the odd one out.
I had just fallen short. Again.
They gave me so many chances.
One-on-ones with the lead choreographer, script sessions with the trainers, backstage passes to meet the leads on Broadway...
"You just gotta get out of your head kid. Everything is right there. But where are you?"
I didn't know.
For the next 7 years tried to find me.
I didn't find myself on the billboards.
I wasn't on the red carpets.
I looked all over the internet but I wasn’t on any platform or in any medium.
It didn’t matter how famous the people I did projects with were or how many views I’d get on Tik Tok… nothing felt REAL!
I decided to give up on the stage and retire from the socials.
I took a digital detox and tapped back into… REAL LIFE.
I lived out of a backpack.
Drove through Cherokee Nation.
Tried to forget I had a dream.
I let myself lose every-fking-thing
And all that was left was me…
Me.
Me and everything else.
I understand now that I was ALWAYS THERE.
I always showed up.
I just also brought a lot of others with me.
Others expectations.
Others judgments.
Others disappointments.
All this noise clouded my ability to remain present in THIS organic being and project out what I individually intend to share in this lifetime.
But not anymore.
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So here I am in my own personal third act.
It took coming back to the islands to realize why I left in the first place.
I finally know why I was not one of the 3 Nala's chosen.
They didn't need a Nala that could sing, dance and act.
Cause look… I DID that.
They needed a Nala that prowled in with main character energy, saying, "I see what's coming and I'm not going to wait around for it to take us. Idk wtf is out there but I know imma go and I'm not coming back until I have better for all of us."
BET…
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TBH...
I'm not sure how my story will end.
I know I’ll keep sharing my story as I grow.
And I know my favorite part to play.
It’s not Nala.
It was never Nala.
It’s mine.
It has always been mine.
What’s yours?
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Mahalo for reading.
Aloha,
- JFS 🤙🏽
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